The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Chow, Church @ Market

Posted at 12:40 PM

"I don't know all these people survive their commutes, their debts, their time away from their families...hell, life."
"I asked my therapist that same question, and he said, Chemicals. They're jacked up on caffeine in the morning, alcohol at night, and Prozac during the day. It's just considered normal."

Sunday, February 27, 2005

24th @ Mission BART Station

Posted at 11:29 PM

"Up yours you pigs. You think you can boss a guy around 'cause you got guns?"
"Yeah, well, fuck you."


Posted at 11:25 PM

"You talk to Nicki?"
"You mean the girl with the condition?"
"Yeah, she told me she's getting her husband's disease."
"She just needs to start drinking caffeine free."

Sacramento @ Fillmore

Posted at 11:14 PM

"At the Bachelor party, he gave all of us spa gift certificates for a boy-zillian wax.
"What's that?"
"It's a meterosexual man's answer to women's brazillian wax."
"You're kidding, they're just going to leave a strip of hair on you?"
"I guess it's more of a balls and ass wax."
"You know, I bet you can transfer the gift certificate for a facial or something."

Alta Vista Park

Posted at 11:10 PM

"Hey, you have some money? I wanna make another prank call."
"Here, man."
"Listen to this. Hello, Mame. What are you wearing? Is that all I got? Uh, no... I gotta big ass dick!"

Crissy Fields

Posted at 11:07 PM

"Hey, I remember you. Remember me?"
"Sorry, no."
"I was doing construction work a couple months ago on Jackson and Webster, and I said hello to you. You said hello back."
"Well,I live in that area."
"Come on, how could you forget a one-armed construction worker?"

Osteria Restaurant, Sacramento @ Presidio

Posted at 11:05 PM

"When I was younger, I wanted to save the world. Well, I opened up the newspaper today and realized I hadn't done a very good job. I may not be able to save the world, but I can touch a few people's lives. Want another bottle of wine?"

Crissy Fields

Posted at 11:03 PM

"You look like an angel with the sun behind you like that."
"Wow, that shampoo really does work."

Pine @ Divisadero

Posted at 10:56 PM

"I'm visiting some girlfriends in LA this weekend. Well, they're really not from LA proper, they're from Burbank."
"Oh, Burbank. So essentially they live at the airport..."
"Anyhow, they said they never have to buy themselves drinks. Do you know it costs nine bucks for a drink in Burbank?"
"I did not."
"Apparently, the best place to get free drinks is at this famous Karyoke bar called Dimples. All the singers like Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez have their autographed photos on the wall."
"Rachel, ask yourself, is a free drink really worth enduring that kind of pain?"

American Airlines

Posted at 10:50 PM

"Bob and I are celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary on the Big Island."
"How about you? Are you traveling alone?"
"I'm meeting my Mom in Hawaii."
"Oh, your Mom lives in Hawaii?"
"She lives in the East, I live in the West; we're just meeting up in Hawaii."
"That sounds very nice for you both. How romantic."

Rock-N-Roll Paradise, Shaka Radio, Hawaii

Posted at 10:48 PM

"I'm going to one-up Phil Collins, who knew what he was saying when he said take love slow. I'm gonna get pseu pseu pseudio on your ass. I'm on your tip like a black bean dip."

Kanapali, Hawaii

Posted at 10:44 PM

"Anything on the menu look good to you?"
"I think I'm going to get the macademia-encrusted Mahi Mahi."
"You got that last night."
"Yeah, but I like the nuts in Hawaii. They're more tender."

Polk Street

Posted at 10:42 PM

"Oh my God. Did you just see the back of that bus?"
"Yes... Hooters."
"San Francisco used to have more class."

Clay @ Fillmore

Posted at 10:38 PM

"Sometimes babies just smell. I would wash Jennifer and a couple minutes later--boom--she'd be smelly again."
"I actually had that problem with Billy. At first I thought that I wasn't properly changing him, but my doctor said that sometimes babies produce a strange odor and it's nothing to be alarmed about. You're a good Mom, Sheryl. I wouldn't worry about it."

Jackson @ Fillmore

Posted at 10:36 PM

"Check this out. I've got this fungus or something under my nail, and it just keeps growing."
"Way to go, Mark. Just as a hot girl walks by. Your timing sucks."

Guerrilla Sports @ Polk Street

Posted at 10:33 PM

"If Guerrilla Sports is Home Sweet Home for the Hardcore, where does that leave the softcore? Are we supposed to go to 24 Hour Nautilus?"

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Fort Point

Posted at 9:26 AM

"Hey, where do you think they're from?"
"The Midwest."
"No way. Orange County. That guy's wearing flip-flops. People get gay-bashed in the Midwest for wearing those kind of things."
"Yeah, Orange County might be right. That chick's got a nose ring."
"What's their license plate say?"
"California--hey, with a San Francisco dealer."

Fort Point

Posted at 9:18 AM

"I don't get it. It's just a bridge."
"What? Are you that callous? That's probably the most beautiful bridge in the world."
"Sure, it's beautiful, but I don't see how it's all that different than other bridges. Except that it's red."
"Have you seen other bridges? I mean, look at that. It towers over the Pacific and connects two mountains."
"It connects two hills."
"You need some major help. Or, a hug."

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Stanyan @ Judah

Posted at 1:05 PM

"I don't think she likes anything I get her."
"Ah, I bet that's not true. What did you get her for Valentines' Day?"
"I got her one of those chili peppers weaved into a heart shape. She didn't look that excited, and I said, 'I thought you liked that when we were at the Farmer's Market?' And she said, 'I thought your mom would like that.'"
"Ha! You need to earn some points."

Java Beach: 46th @ Judah

Posted at 1:00 PM

"That's funny. You hear of people going through a vampire stage, but never a werewolf stage."
"Or a Frankenstein stage."
"I would think either of those would be more exciting than anything having to do with vampires."
"It's probably easier to wear fake fangs than glue fake hair to your face. And those Frankenstein shoes would be hell to break in."

Ferry Building

Posted at 12:58 PM

"Two dollars, please."
"For an apple?"
"It's organic."
"Yeah, but it's just an apple. Not gold."

Friday, February 18, 2005

One Market

Posted at 10:02 AM

"Is Dan now reporting to our group? Excuse me, I mean, D."
"Yes, D is in our group."
"Can I be J?"
"Yes, you can be J."
"Good. I've been needing a hip makeover."

16th @ Mission BART

Posted at 9:48 AM

"All them politicains are going up to the space station. When that thing is built, they're all going up into space to let us die. They're going to drop the bomb on us, man. I know what's up."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


Posted at 1:12 PM

"Sir, do you know where Fisherman's Wharf is?"
"Sure, it's about a mile down that way."
"My goodness, a whole mile?"
"It's not so bad. It's a nice walk."
"Are there benches along the way?"
"I think so."
"I don't know how anyone could make it."

Taco Truck, Spear @ Folsom

Posted at 1:04 PM

"Excuse me, what's a torta?"
"But with Mexican stuff?"
"Yeah. No tortilla. Roll."
"So, like, a turkey sandwich?"
"No. Burrito with no tortilla. Roll."
"So, like, a burrito but everything's on a roll?"
"Weird. I'll try that. Do you have pastrami?"
"No. Carnitas, carne asada..."
"Oh, I'll have carne asada. That sounds weird."

Monday, February 14, 2005

One Market

Posted at 5:23 PM

"Did you get her anything?"
"What for?"
"It's Valentines Day."
"Oh, shit. You just saved my life. Where can I get chocolate around here?"

Sunday, February 13, 2005

24th @ Diamond

Posted at 4:52 PM

"That's a hell of a lot of toilet paper."
"I got all of that at Costco for eight bucks."
"You must be planning on a lot of ass-wiping."
"You can never have enough TP around, especially with kids."

Friday, February 11, 2005

One Market

Posted at 4:46 PM

"Okay, put Peter on. Hi, Peter! How are you doing? You saw a parade today? The red and the blue? We're going to go to Ella's birthday party tomorrow. Yeah, she has a jungle gym where you can run and jump and climb. That sounds like fun, huh? You drew today? What did you draw today? Orange what? Orange turtle. And what else? Oh, a green pencil. I see, orange pencil and green pencil. Can you give the phone to mommy, please. Hey, Peter, do me a favor and give the phone to mommy. Thank you, honey. Hi, did he take a nap today? Yeah, he doesn't like the new blankets."

Thursday, February 10, 2005

One Market

Posted at 4:40 PM

"What are you doing?"
"To your mouse."
"Nothing. Touching it."
"You're, like, stroking it."
"No kidding. Mouse-terbation. That must've been what I was doing. You caught me."

One Market

Posted at 2:20 PM

"Hello? Hi, Peter! How are you doing buddy? Did you go to school today? Oh, you drew stick figures. That sounds like fun. Was that fun? Yeah, I want to see them when I get home tonight. Will you save some the stick figure drawings for me? Good, good. What? Yes, I had lunch today. I had soup. You had lunch today, too? Yeah, hotdogs. Did you like that? Wow, and apple juice. Is mommy there? Wow, you went in the backyard today. Did you kick the soccer ball? Yeah, was it nice outside? It sounds like you're having a good day. Is mommy around? Okay, thank you. Remember, save those stick figure drawings."

The Ferry Building

Posted at 1:56 PM

"How long has the stain been there?"
"I don't know. I saw it this morning."
"This morning! And you didn't tell me?"
"I thought you knew about it."
"You think I'd be wearing this if I knew it was stained?"
"You've worn things with stains before."
"Not knowingly."
"You sure?"
"What? Of course I'm sure."

The Ferry Building

Posted at 1:53 PM

"People are such slime."
"Try not to focus on it."
"I try, but then someone else goes and does the exact same thing."

The Ferry Building

Posted at 1:50 PM

"No, I'm not going to buy anything."
"Oh, come on."
"No, I just got out of debt. I feel like I can breathe again."

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The Ferry Building

Posted at 1:34 PM

"I love this city. It's like Europe, but it's not."
"Yeah, it's the US."

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

One Market

Posted at 10:48 AM

"I heard your computer died."
"I lost everything. Everything."
"That's the worst. My computer at home died a couple of months ago, and I felt like my dog passed away. You get so close to these things."

24th @ Sanchez

Posted at 8:18 AM

"Are kids welcome at the Mardi Gras party?"
"Sure, but you might have to have a good long talk with them beforehand."

24th @ Valencia

Posted at 8:16 AM

"It's not like I need to go to graduate school for what I want to do. I just think it'd be cool to live in New York."

Monday, February 07, 2005

One Market

Posted at 2:42 PM

"That sucks the big monkeys."
"Yeah it does."

One Market

Posted at 1:24 PM

"You know how you should, like, be grateful for every day you're alive and all that shit?"
"I'm just not today. I kind of wish I was dead so I didn't have to go to work today."
"I totally know what you mean."

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Divison @ Harrison

Posted at 7:14 PM

"Look at those guys in the wheelchairs. They're hauling ass."
"They've got some kind of turbo boost. Awesome."
"I bet those things aren't street legal."
"Awesome. No cop would pull over a cripple. We should get in on that."

35th @ Judah

Posted at 7:04 PM

"I wish we knew his email. I'd like to put fuck you in the subject and send it to him."
"That reminds of an idea I had."
"It'd be kind of like a social activism thing."
"Well what is it?"
"I thought it'd be cool to get an email account, like, and just email corrupt businesses with it. They'd get a subject heading that says You are a sack of shit with an email address that says Or it could be sackofshit@gmail, you know, whatever."
"Would there be anything in the email?"
"No, the subject says it all. What else is there to say? You are a sack of shit."
"What about the sig file?"
"What about it? You think I'm going to put my address in phone number on the email, you idiot?"
"No, but you could put something like Sack of Shit Way, Apt. A."
"You're taking it too far."

20th @ Taraval

Posted at 7:01 PM

"I'm so sick of it. Everything beeps these days. Cars beep when you walk by them, ATM machines beep, phones beep. There's got to be another sound out there people can use. I mean, come on."

Saturday, February 05, 2005

On a Cable Car (Don't ask...)

Posted at 7:25 PM

"Hey, what happened to Lam? He used to get on here all the time."
"He fell, you didn't hear?"
"No, I didn't hear. Is the old guy okay?"
"No, he's dead. He cracked his head open."
"Jesus Christ, you're kidding me?"
"No, he took a thirty-foot fall off of a ladder."
"What the hell?"
"He was trying to take the Christmas lights off his building."
"What the hell was a guy his age doing on a ladder?"
"I don't know. Old guys are stubborn."
"Jesus Christ. Lam, man. What the hell?"

24th @ Noe

Posted at 7:18 PM

"The way I see it, if you can afford an SUV, then you can afford a ticket. That's my motto."
"You know, I disagree. That's very unfair to the SUV driver. You don't know their income. You should watch your generalizations. They're really offensive."
"I didn't mean to be offensive. I just thought I was being funny."

Friday, February 04, 2005

Ferry Building

Posted at 3:08 PM

"Wow, look at all the pigeons."
"Oh, no. That old lady just put a loaf of bread on the ground."
"Wow, now the seagulls are showing up."
"God help us. Every bird in the city's going to crap."

Peet's @ Ferry Building

Posted at 3:01 PM

"Would you help me?"
"I'm working the register."
"No one's in line."
"Give it a minute."
"Would you just do something! Prep the milk, anything!"
"Take a chill pill."
"What the...this isn't your kingdom, princess."

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Original Joe's: Taylor @ Eddy

Posted at 10:26 AM

"I'm a proud black woman, y'all. Going to have me some steak and jumbo prawns tonight. You heard me, right, hombre? Put those prawns in the oven. Don't look at me like that, Paco. I ain't no crack head. My money's green like everybody else's. And make that steak rare, you hear me? You better quit standing and start cooking. If you don't get me what I want, I'll sue y'all. Red, white, and blue. I love my life."

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

One Market

Posted at 6:18 PM

"Oh, come on. A Violence in the Workplace seminar? You've got to be kidding me. Have you ever seen violence in the workplace?"
"No, never. Not that it wouldn't have been warranted, though."
"What's going on?"
"We just got that email about the seminar. Have you ever seen violence in the workplace?"
"No, but I've felt threatened."
"Yeah, at my old company, there was this loner type who was really into weight-lifting and collecting guns. The reference library was near his desk, and if anyone misplaced a book, he'd lose it. He'd flex his biceps and cuss at anyone, even the boss. He talked about his guns a lot. One time I put a book back in the wrong place, and he left a gun show flyer on my desk."
"Jesus, I guess we should go to the seminar. You never know who they'll hire."

24th @ Mission

Posted at 2:21 PM

"She's fucked up, he's fucked up, everybody here's fucked up. Old MacDonald had a fucked up farm, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. And on his fucked up farm he had a lot of fucked up, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo..."

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

24th @ Noe

Posted at 4:38 PM

"She not into big wait."
"Really? I always thought she was skinny."
"She skinny. What you talk about?"
"I thought you said she had a big waist?"
"No, wait. She not wait big."
"Oh, I see. You mean long. I get it."
"No, big."

24th @ Noe

Posted at 4:32 PM

"Now that he's got kids, he's stopped buying cappuccinos and getting sixty-dollar haircuts. It all goes to the college fund now."
"What a drag."

About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
Community of Writers
Sean Kirkpatrick
Drew's Script-O-Rama
Museum of Bad Art
The I.F.O.C.E


Zen Habits
The Happiness Project
Dean Karnazes
Mighty Foods
dangerous compassions
From the Rear View Mirror
Tony Pierce
Kevin Drum
Oliver Willis

Books To Read

Caught Inside

The Guards

All The Trouble You Need

Hardcore Zen

Keeping Warm


Continental Drift

Chez Chance

The Los Angeles Diaries

Bear Flag Rising


07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010


Get Firefox!

Stumble Upon Toolbar


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.