The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Friday, July 28, 2006

One Market

Posted at 2:43 PM

"I think he really enjoys clearing brush off his ranch. He's probably pretty good at."
"You think he wakes up some mornings and thinks he'd rather be clearing brush off his ranch than being president?"

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

24th @ Noe

Posted at 10:07 AM

"He left his wife because he was having an affair with a German immigrant named Helga."
"That's terrible."
"She has her blonde hair done up in pig tails and everything. Just like the St. Pauli Girl, except she's fat. And now the two are totally into Netflix. So I don't know why Helga brought over her Tivo."

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

One Market

Posted at 12:14 PM

"Come on, everyone. Lunch. It's Thai Tuesday."
"I don't like Thai Tuesdays."
"Well, what do you suggest?"
"I don't know. Burgers."
"Burgers doesn't rhyme with a day."
"It's got to rhyme with a day, or we can't eat it. It's in the employee handbook."

Monday, July 24, 2006

One Market

Posted at 1:37 PM

"Hey, Michelle. I tried to contact you, but my Yahoo's broken."

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:19 PM

"For a Hollywood fellow, that guy Wayne's got a lot of sense. What was his role on MASH? Trapper?"
"Trapper? That's German. How long has he been our neighbor?"
"No, Mom. It's a TV character. She gets a little confused since the stroke."

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:18 PM

"Look at that guy with long hair. What a creep. And they put people like that on TV. He probably smokes marijunana. People like him draw big crowds at those rock concerts. I don't understand what happened to this country."

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:14 PM

"Channel two."
"Channel two."
"You want channel two?"
"Well didn't you press the remote."
"Yes, I did."
"Well what did you do?"
"I didn't do anything. I pressed two."
"You did something because it's not working."
"All I did was press two."
"I think you broke it again. We'll have to reset the TV."
"All I did was press two."
"Let me work the remote from now on."

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:12 PM

"What happened to her leg?"
"Oh, your grandma had a little fall. She tried to move the ironing board, while she was using her walker. She gets to wear that ski boot now. You know, those doctors are a bunch of idiots. We took her in because of the fall, and they ran a bunch of X-rays and MRIs and blood work, and you name it, they did it. They were convinced her heart made her fall down. Can't a person just fall down in this country anymore?"

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:09 PM

"Kerry, oh, don't get me started on that traitor. He sold this country down the river. And now he's selling it down the river again. That traitor. We would've won Vietnam if people like him didn't protest it. And now the jerk is protesting Iraq. Did you hear what he said about our troops?"
"No, what did he say?"
"You didn't hear that thing on Fox News?"
"No, what was it?"
"Oh, I can't remember it now. But it was bad."

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:08 PM

"Hey, the cough drop fell out of my mouth. Where did it go? Watch your step. You see it? Damn it, I still had plenty left on that thing. Oh, there it is. Good thing the carpet's clean."

Paradise Valley Retirement Community

Posted at 8:06 PM

"I don't know why we can't get lemon sherbet in this country. It's an outrage."

Embarcadero Center

Posted at 12:28 PM

"He's a real sick-o. I mean, not a fun sick-o, just a real sick-o."

One Market

Posted at 10:32 AM

"Just make sure you don't get tricked into going to Oktoberfest on an empty stomach."

One Market, elevator

Posted at 9:51 AM

"Hi, John."
"Nice bag. You were in the Corp?"
"Yeah, a little place called Vietnam. Sixty-eight."
"No kidding? I was in the Air Force. Sixty-nine. Things were a little easier for us."
"I can't argue with that. Say, have you started receiving the retirement checks?"
"I sure have. Aren't those something?"
"Can't beat the benefits."
"No, sure can't."

Embarcadero BART Station

Posted at 9:49 AM

"Carnations are my favorite flower. The Sound of Music is my favorite movie. Want to buy one of my tapes?"
"Okay, then."

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Ferry Building

Posted at 4:38 PM

"The burgers here suck."
"What else do you want to do today, go to gay land?"

One Market

Posted at 9:58 AM

"The bottom line is I have some kind of GI track problem."
"Maybe you should've taken it easy with the beer."
"Fuck that. Next week I'm going to Santa Barbara, and the weekend after that I'm going to Portland for a beer festival."
"Maybe you should get the GI track problem figured out before you go."
"No, Santa Barbara is fine. Just red wine and roasted pig. Portland, well, all the guys I'm going with are alcoholics, and they love chili."

One Market

Posted at 9:54 AM

"I don't know. There was some breast cancer event in the city. So we biked over to Marin. And we drank a lot. It was hard riding the bike back because I was so drunk. And the next two days were terrible. I just drank too much. I felt like ass. I need to go to a doctor, I think. I need some kind of uber antacid. Today."

Friday, July 14, 2006

Market @ California

Posted at 12:37 PM

"Piece. Of shit. Bus."

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

One Market

Posted at 5:18 PM

"You truly are an American badass."

The Ferry Building

Posted at 3:18 PM

"BAM! Just one good punch to the throat. BAM! Hi, bitch. How you doing? I was in Vietnam. Stay the fuck back."

One Market

Posted at 9:34 AM

"Well, the only advice I can give you about running a marathon is don't eat any Indian food the night before."

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Ferry Building, Farmer's Market

Posted at 12:44 PM

"Try some homemade almond brittle? It's better than young lovers."


Posted at 12:39 PM

"I'm Sheeba Memphis Tennessee. Been here forever. Came out here in the eighties. Before all you billionaires. Move over. Watch my bag. Get those feet of the way. Someone get the train to go. I said someone get this train to go. You all rich. Someone get this train to go."

Monday, July 10, 2006

The Ferry Building

Posted at 4:34 PM

"Dad, you need a time out. Stop hounding her about the jerky. It's not that big of a deal, really. All you're doing is upsetting everyone, and I don't want to be a part of it anymore."

The Embarcadero

Posted at 1:05 PM

"Being a seagull must be so great. You just float around all day and eat garbage people drop on the ground."

The Embarcadero

Posted at 1:01 PM

"What are you reading?"
"The map."
"Why? The Ferry Building is right there. It's practically in our faces."
"Why do you have to always nag me? I'm just looking at the map. Can't I just look at the map?"
"Of course you can. You don't have to be so angry all the time."

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Safeway @ Embarcadero

Posted at 12:40 PM

"Oh, don't talk to me about rosemary. Daniel, my ex, and I used to fight all the time about rosemary. He wanted it on everything. He used to put rosemary on steak, and I'd say, 'You're not supposed to put rosemary on steak,' and he'd say, 'I like rosemary--I can put it on whatever I want.' He was such a moron. I'm so glad I got rid of him."

About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
Community of Writers
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Drew's Script-O-Rama
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Zen Habits
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All The Trouble You Need

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