The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pier 39

Posted at 11:39 AM

"My God, why are all those people running?"
"It's a marathon."
"I don't care what it is. Why are they running?"
"I don't know. For fun."
"They call that fun? Sounds loony tunes."

Monday, July 30, 2007

Alta Vista Park

Posted at 7:22 PM

"You want to play with the other kids?"
"Oh, come on. They're playing soccer."
"I thought you liked soccer?"
"Well, maybe get them to play a game you like."
"I want to go home."
"We just got here."

Alta Vista Park

Posted at 7:19 PM

"Remember that kid who threw up at the museum?"
"He sucked."
"I didn't like him."
"Yeah, I'm glad he threw up."

Alta Vista Park

Posted at 7:18 PM

"This grass smells like pooh. I don't want to sit here."

Alta Vista Park

Posted at 7:14 PM

"Hey, get off me. Quit kickin' me!"
"Make me."
"Yeah, right in your nuts!"

Thursday, July 26, 2007

22nd @ Diamond

Posted at 9:56 AM

"I'm glad I'm not single. There's a whole hell of a lot of crazy out there."

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Wichita, Kansas

Posted at 3:38 PM

"Ward still lookin' for work?"
"How long's it been?"
"Oh, couple of years."
"How's he keepin' busy?"
"Bought another Jeep. Put forty-inch rims on the sucker. Looks great."

Denver Airport

Posted at 3:34 PM

"Fanny, is that you? Oh my God, it is you!"
"Michael, oh my God!"
"I thought that was someone I knew, but I didn't want to stare like a crazy person."
"Are you living in Denver now?"
"No, we're going to Wichita for a family reunion. And this is Mathew. He's the new husband."
"Hi, I'm really the new, new husband."
"He's certainly an improvement."

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Ferry Building

Posted at 11:40 AM

"Excuse me?"
"I said August. That's what it's all about."
"Uh, okay."
"Remember, August."

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

One Market

Posted at 9:46 AM

"Spendthrifts and fat fucks. That's what America has turned into."
"When are you going to get out of your angry-young-man-phase?"
"Phase? It's a lifestyle. Plus, I'm an orthodox cynic."

Monday, July 16, 2007

One Market

Posted at 4:10 PM

"When I was a kid, my brother spray-painted my hamster. Then my mouse licked the hamster and died from ingesting the paint. Why do guys do things like spray-paint hamsters?"
"Because it's cool."

24th @ Sanchez

Posted at 8:24 AM

"There just aren't enough transsexuals anymore."

One Market

Posted at 8:23 AM

"No way. Tell him I don't do coffee meetings."

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Martha & Bros. @ 24th Street

Posted at 7:55 PM

"I don't ask for much, you know. Just don't short change me. Don't give me the fuck-you-eye. Don't send me junk mail. Return my calls. Hold the elevator door open for me. Don't park too close to my car. Speak softly. Say, 'Hi.'"

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Market @ Gough

Posted at 10:31 AM

"What kind of music do you play?"
"We're kind of an improvisational rock band. We just get drunk and jam."
"Cool, what time's the show?"
"We don't really have a set time. And we're usually late."

Market @ Gough

Posted at 10:27 AM

"Do you have two quarters?"
"No, sorry."
"! Give them to me!"
"No way, buddy. Get away."
"What the? You know, I think I can outrun you and your walker."

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

California @ Market

Posted at 3:14 PM

"This is my sidewalk. Go beg elsewheres. Go on. I'll get all up in your face. Don't think I won't. This is mine, dog."

24th @ Sanchez

Posted at 2:10 PM

"You are such an ungrateful asshole!"
"Keep it down."
"Don't tell me to keep it down. You ungrateful fuck!"
"That old man just gave you extra coffee. You didn't have to yell at him. He doesn't know you want room for cream. Asshole!"

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Market @ Gough

Posted at 11:39 AM

"Fuck Ben Kingsley."

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Martha & Bros. Coffee @ 24th Street

Posted at 8:17 AM

"Let me tell you, it's the end times for this country. We always tell everyone we're number one, but we don't even have health care. We're lucky to be number seventeen. You go to any country in Europe, and if you get hurt, you get treatment. They don't let their people die in the streets like we do. This whole place is sick. And corrupt. Can you believe Libby got off Scott-free?"
"Oh, everyone saw that coming."
"Yeah, but nobody did anything."
"Same as usual."
"Yeah, same as usual. That's why this country is going to end. We can't keep going like this. I mean, people care more about Paris Hilton than global warming for God's sake. What does that tell you about America?"
"You don't have to tell me about America. I know this country is awful."
"You know, this is an amazing cup of coffee."
"Yeah, I come here everyday."

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Market @ Gough

Posted at 8:48 PM

"You've lived in San Francisco since nineteen seventy-seven?"
"Yeah. No. I bought the house in seventy-seven. I've been here since seventy."
"You must have seen a lot of changes."
"Changes? Holy shit, the world's changed. Just the workplace has changes by light years. You know before email, we used carbon paper? You probably don't even know that that is. We didn't have copy machines, we had carbon paper. Everything you wrote or typed had three copies automatically attached. You'd peel the paper apart, and, viola, three fucking copies. Oh, and no more Soviets to blow us up. Now, it's terrorists. No matter how much the world changes, there's always going to be someone who wants to blow us up."

24th @ Dolores

Posted at 8:44 PM

"Everyone's always communicating these days. Look at this guy. Text-messaging as he walks in the crosswalk... What the hell's so important that he's gotta type as he walks across a busy street? I mean, what if I just put my foot on the gas? You know what he's typing? I'll be there soon. I'll see you in five minutes. Just show the fuck up, Jesus."

One Market

Posted at 4:22 PM

"First we need to do some refactoring. Then, we need to do some plumbing on the database."
"What is this plumbing? I don't understand how you plumbing a database."
"Well, first you have to flush it..."
"Why the laughing? English is second language to me. I even know third. How many of you know third? Exactly."

Ferry Building

Posted at 4:21 PM

"None of this shit would've happened if we went to Bistro Burger."

Monday, July 02, 2007

The Ferry Building

Posted at 2:02 PM

"Excuse me?"
"How do we get to the Haight-Asbury?"
"The Haight? Oh, you people don't want to go there. That place smells like a toilet. Go out to Ocean Beach or something."

One Market

Posted at 12:56 PM

"I need a smooth jazz escape."
"Jesus, are you still listening to that crap?"
"Work, rest, or play, it's gotta be the smooth jazz way."

About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
Community of Writers
Sean Kirkpatrick
Drew's Script-O-Rama
Museum of Bad Art
The I.F.O.C.E


Zen Habits
The Happiness Project
Dean Karnazes
Mighty Foods
dangerous compassions
From the Rear View Mirror
Tony Pierce
Kevin Drum
Oliver Willis

Books To Read

Caught Inside

The Guards

All The Trouble You Need

Hardcore Zen

Keeping Warm


Continental Drift

Chez Chance

The Los Angeles Diaries

Bear Flag Rising


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