The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

One Market

Posted at 2:39 PM

"We called it Nicky-Nicky nine doors in Canada."
"Wierd. Here in California we called it ding-dong ditching. Hey, Catherine. What'd they call in in Newfoundland?"
"In Ohio, it wasn't so nice sounding."
"Really, what'd you call it."
"I can't say it here. It was a bad word."
"Bad word?"
"The N word."
"The N word?"
"Wow, that is bad. You'd get killed here in California for saying that."
"I don't know why they called it that back home, but they did."

Market @ Embarcadero

Posted at 1:04 PM

"I believe that's mine."
"I was just trying to call you on it. I tried what was called your work number on it. I looked for you, to tell you about your phone, but you were gone from the bench. You know?"
"Thanks. I wish there was something I could give you. Do you like raspberries?"
"No, but do you have any recyclables?"
"No, I don't have anything on me. Wait, here's a five."
"Thanks, man. Thanks a lot."
"Thank you."

Friday, May 27, 2005

One Market

Posted at 3:57 PM

"Yeah, the non-trendy is now trendy."

One Market

Posted at 3:54 PM

"White leather on a guy, it's like, well, you know."
"You've got to get it at the Harley shop."

24 Hour Fitness: 2nd @ Folsom

Posted at 10:35 AM

"Hey, I heard Alan bombed."
"He did okay."
"I heard he kept checking out the chest on the woman he was training."

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

One Market

Posted at 4:28 PM

"Holy shit, that's his girlfriend? That must have been done in PhotoShop."
"No, that's her. I knew she was big, but I didn't think she was that big."

One Market

Posted at 1:15 PM

"Jocelyn Elders was the speaker at my brother's graduation."
"Who's that?"
"She was one of the Surgeon Generals under Clinton. She had to resign because she advocated masturbation."
"That's not a bad thing to advocate."
"I also think she had to resign because she just had no tact. Like at the graduation, she told everyone to use condoms because they don't break as easily as abstinence. You just don't say that kind of shit to a bunch of parents watching their kids leave school."

Market @ Embarcadero

Posted at 12:33 PM

"My ideal store: Caffeine International."

The Embarcadero

Posted at 12:30 PM

"She ain't got no genetic problem. She eats what she wants to eat. That's called a fat problem. That's why she's so fat."
"That's so cold."
"That ain't cold. You've seen what she shovels into her mouth. Feed a whole country on that diet. I ain't got no sympathy for her eating like fat people."

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

First @ Beale

Posted at 1:58 PM

"I had this dream where I broke up with my boyfriend. Then, my roommate's boyfriend snuck into the house to kill her, but I threw all of the kitchen knives out of the window. What do you think it means? I love my boyfriend."
"You're thinking too much about your job."

State @ Carrillo, Santa Barbara, CA, from Josh

Posted at 11:23 AM

"Hurry up, you Nazi."
"My people prefer the term racially intolerant."

Arlington Theater, Star Wars Premiere, Santa Barbara, CA, from Josh

Posted at 11:21 AM

"Goddamn it! Am I the only fucker who dressed up?"
"Looks like Darth Maul is not pleased with our level of enthusiasm."

From Laura

Posted at 11:18 AM

"Remember the day robbers got into the house and the dog met us at the front door with the hamster in his mouth? Jeff was so upset."

1 California, MUNI

Posted at 9:29 AM

"Excuse me, when is the stop..."
"Listen, lady. This is the second time you've asked me, and I already told you I'd let you know when we're at your stop."
"I'm sorry, but I've only asked you once."
"And if you ask me five times, you're still going to get the same answer from me. I'll let you know when we're at your stop."
"Why thank you..."
"Don't mention it."

Monday, May 23, 2005

17th @ Castro

Posted at 11:30 AM

"What, I only trip on Sunday nights."
"Yeah, but you have to go into the office on Monday. And you don't get to bed until 4:00 AM."
"Once a week isn't that bad."
"Yeah, but you do it all throughout the weekend too."
"But it's the weekend. And I only did it that Thursday because the guy online was an underwear model. You should see the pictures he sent me."
"No thanks."
"But I had to stay up to drive to Hayward because he didn't have a car. He couldn't get out here. And he looks so good in his underwear. You really should see the pictures."
"I don't know what to say."
"Just see the pictures."

Dolores Park

Posted at 11:28 AM

"Yeah, you like that one, huh? I'm like a literary Green Beret. You don't even know I'm there when the genius of the literary reference hits you."

One Market

Posted at 11:25 AM

"holistic shoe development? How does one develop shoes holistically?"
"The sale bin at Big 5, that's how."
"No, that's buying shoes holistically."
"Whatever that company is, they sound holistically stupid."

Dolores @ Dorland

Posted at 11:22 AM

"I don't get it. I've been with a therapist for seven years, sober for twelve, I'm on anti-depressants, and everything still feels wrong. When does life start getting better?"

Friday, May 20, 2005

24th @ Valencia

Posted at 9:56 AM

"I gave up everything for you! I gave up my job! I dropped out! My mom won't talk to me no more! How can you do this to me?"
"Stupid bitch."


Posted at 9:53 AM

"Don't you touch me."
"What? I didn't touch you."
"Just 'cause I'm black, doesn't mean you can touch me."
"What? Get a life. I didn't touch you."
"Drop dead."

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Metreon, 4th @ Mission

Posted at 4:17 PM

"Hey, I saw some little kid wearing a Star Wars shirt. He even had Star Wars buttons pinned on to his baseball hat."
"Was he getting in line?"
"No, he looked sad. I don't think he got a ticket."
"You should go find him and wave your ticket in his face."

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

One Market

Posted at 9:42 AM

"That idiot couldn't even make a salad. Ah, do I put the dressing or the lettuce on the plate first?"

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

One Market

Posted at 10:20 PM

"Isn't it cool that the company is taking us to see the new Star Wars?"
"Fuck that. The last two movies were so bad I'd rather work."

Jackson @ Webster

Posted at 10:10 PM

"I mean I like Kashi cereals and all, but what's up with their marketing?"
"You know, my dad mentioned that to me. He said why would a bran cereal be called Good Friends and have pictures of black, white, and Asian people eating raisin bran together. He's not opposed to the idea, he just didn't understand how peace, love, and unity occurs with a high fiber cereal."
"I'd think there'd be race wars over the bathroom."
"I'm being partly serious. Like how many good friends do you eat bran with?"

24th @ Diamond

Posted at 10:08 PM

"So this guy Clint tells me at the meeting..."
"Clit? That must suck for a guy."
"No, Clint. His name is Clint."

Morninglory Records, Santa Barbara, CA, from Josh

Posted at 9:57 PM

"Senior discount?"
"Volume discount? Local discount?"
"Gay discount?"
"Speak for yourself, sister."

Monday, May 16, 2005

Opera Plaza: Sonny Rollins Gig

Posted at 1:01 PM

"Tickets? You need tickets?"
"How much are you selling them for?"
"How much you got?"
"Not much. I haven't gone to the ATM yet."
"Just how much you got, man?"
"Only, like, twelve bucks."
"Twelve bucks? Sonny Rollins for twelve bucks? Man, get the fuck out of here. Twelve bucks..."

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Dolores Park

Posted at 8:46 PM

"The Bay to Breakers was ruined by all those naked straight people running. Straight people should really keep their clothes on."
"I don't know. Some of our brethren were looking a little lumpy around the edges, too."

Union Square

Posted at 8:43 PM

"Hey, you. Can I ask you a question."
"No, forget it man. I've seen you around before. That's right. I've seen you."
"He's seen you before? This is the first time we've been to this fucking city. What is it with this place?"

Dorland @ Dolores

Posted at 8:40 PM

"Wilson baked a cake and brought it over in plastic container, which he decorated. You know, I'm gay, but I'm not that gay."

Friday, May 13, 2005

UCSB, from Josh

Posted at 3:39 PM

"Meeting's canceled."
"Yeah, it's about time to cut out anyway."
"Really, do we get to leave early today?"
"Well, both of our supervisors are gone, so I don't see why not. Unless you have something really pressing to take care of. But, you know, you can probably just surf the Internet from home."

Thursday, May 12, 2005

One Market

Posted at 4:20 PM

"So you bought a house here?"
"And you're not a citizen?"
"Nope. The only citizenship you need here is the dollar."

One Market

Posted at 3:26 PM

"3:30? What does the day start, and then just disappear?"
"It's called working for The Man, my friend."

One Market

Posted at 3:12 PM

"The older I get, the dumber I get. I swear to God."
"Hey, I don't like to hear blasphemy in the office."

SBC Park, Giants vs. Pirates

Posted at 12:04 PM

"I won't eat your candy. Now be a big boy and go pee in the restroom."
"I'm not going to eat it."

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

24th @ Sanchez

Posted at 10:28 AM

"Hey, lady, stop. You trying to cool that off?"
"The coffee cup on top of your car."
"Oh, good grief. Thank you."

One Market

Posted at 10:25 AM

"I went to a Raiders game with a Vikings jersey on once."
"Wow, that's asking for it."
"It was fine until three obnoxious women with Viking jerseys sat next to me. Some guy even told me to get my women under control. I told him they weren't my women. But I was flattered that someone could think I could get three women under control."

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Ferry Building

Posted at 1:00 PM

"When I was in school, manipulating test scores was called cheating."

One Market

Posted at 11:12 AM

"Hey, is Mitch coming to the meeting?"
"No, I don't think he's done screaming at that guy on the phone."
"What's he screaming about?"
"I can't really tell. But he's saying fuck a lot."

Monday, May 09, 2005

One Market

Posted at 1:26 PM

"I don't know. I must've been on crack when I emailed that."
"Come on, you're not on crack."
"It's just an expression."
"People on crack know if they're on crack. I don't think that's funny."

One Market

Posted at 9:22 AM

"Hey, my computer won't work."
"You don't need it. Throw it away."

Saturday, May 07, 2005

18th @ Castro

Posted at 9:14 PM

"Hey, come here. Come here, pretty boy. Come here. Come on. Come here, pretty boy."
"I'm not gay."
"Huh? Everyone's gay."

Friday, May 06, 2005

One Market

Posted at 4:34 PM

"A girl next to me on the bus threw up this morning."
"I could see it coming. She didn't look well when she got on. Bet that hasn't happened to you."
"No, luckily."
"At least she was quiet. She stepped over to the door before opening her mouth."

Thursday, May 05, 2005

24th @ Valencia

Posted at 12:50 PM

"She's eating again. Only small amounts, though. See pees protein right out of her. Seven grams of protein per pee."

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

One Market

Posted at 1:32 PM

"Did Hitler have one testicle?"
"I don't know."

Rite Aid @ 24th Street

Posted at 9:08 AM

"I'm open over here. Hey, that doesn't mean you can move my sign..."
"Sorry, just thought I'd help."
"Well, you ain't helping. You don't know where the sign goes, do you?"
"See. Right over here."

One Market

Posted at 9:06 AM

"In late?"
"Some stupid kid on MUNI got his baggy pants caught in the door. Threw the whole system out of whack."

24th @ Mission

Posted at 9:04 AM

"Doctor told me to keep my arm elevated. I can't even fuckin' raise it. Fuckin' idiot."

About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
Community of Writers
Sean Kirkpatrick
Drew's Script-O-Rama
Museum of Bad Art
The I.F.O.C.E


Zen Habits
The Happiness Project
Dean Karnazes
Mighty Foods
dangerous compassions
From the Rear View Mirror
Tony Pierce
Kevin Drum
Oliver Willis

Books To Read

Caught Inside

The Guards

All The Trouble You Need

Hardcore Zen

Keeping Warm


Continental Drift

Chez Chance

The Los Angeles Diaries

Bear Flag Rising


07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010


Get Firefox!

Stumble Upon Toolbar


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.