"She' so fresh! She's so fresh! She's so fresh!"
"Excuse me--"
"--She's so fresh! She's so fresh!--"
"--Can you be quieter?"
"She's so fresh! What? Fuck you. She's so fresh! She's so fresh!"

"Dude, that chick was all over you."
"No, she wasn't."
"All over you. You need to go back there."
"Go back there? And do what?"
"Just talk to her. She was rad. Tell her she was rad."

"Hey, you ever notice how orange flavored Starbursts taste like pussy?"
"What? No."
"Yeah."

"You know, some guy once had a mattress delivered to the company mail room. A mattress..."

"There is no pain like watching a good sunset with a no good woman."

"Hey, y'all. I'm part of the Leonard Nimoy Fuck Club. Check it."

"You know how there's all these candles. Like vanilla candles, lavender candles, and whatever."
"Yeah."
"What if there was a poo candle?"
"What time does your flight leave again?"

"They pipe oxygen into all the casinos. It's to keep people gambling."
"What, how do you know?"
"I read it somewhere."
"No you didn't. You don't read shit."
"Why do you always get like this?"
"Like what?"
"I'm just trying to tell you about something."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. Every time I ask my class a question, this kid yells out, 'Testicles!'"
"Send him to the principal."
"He's only six. I don't think he knows what testicles are. I think he just likes the word, and, frankly who doesn't like the word testicles?"

"Excuse us. Coming by."
"Hey, you have to wait in line like everyone else."
"But our flight's about to leave."
"Oh, sorry."
"No problem. We were at the bar and lost all track of time."