The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Randell @ Chenery

Posted at 8:25 PM

"Bleeding, I tell you. That chimpanzee has bled the jobs right out of this country."
"Three years my sister's been unemployed."
"Three years!"
"Nothing but bleeding, I tell you. My company once had one hundred and twenty-five people. Now, there's thirty. I could be next, you know. If you worked at my company, you could be next."
"It's all that idiot's fault. He's nothing but a chimpanzee. No, that's too good for him. He's a chimpanzee without a banana!"

One Market Building

Posted at 5:06 PM

"You work here?"
"Sorry, no."
"Me neither. Thank God."

24th @ Fair Oaks

Posted at 5:00 PM

"Get back here! I be talkin', goddamn it!"
"You always be up in my shit. No more. I'm outta here."
"I'm still talkin'!"
"Keep talkin'."
"I am, goddamn it!"
"And I'll still be not listenin'."

Thursday, July 29, 2004

24th @ Valencia

Posted at 5:14 PM

"Spare any change?"
"The fuck you're sorry..."
"Yeah, you're right.  The fuck I 'm sorry.  Get off the drugs  Get a job."
"Fuck you."
"And get a vocabulary."

Kinkos @ Market

Posted at 11:41 AM

"There's no paper in the printer! Hey, there's no paper over here!"
"One second, sir. I'll be over with some paper in just a minute."
"I need to print something now!"
"I'll be there shortly."
"Hurry, I'll forget!"

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

AMC Kabuki Theaters

Posted at 6:28 PM

"Daddy, there's a line for the bathroom."
"It's okay, honey.  You can come into the men's room with me."
"Mister, I don't care that you're twenty years younger than me.  I wish you could be my Daddy.  I got to go.  And little one, the lines only get longer as you get older."

16th @ Valencia

Posted at 9:25 AM

"I want to be a part of a club.  The fun club."
"Danny, you've been a part of the fun club for the past five years.  Maybe you should think about the jobs club or the college club."
"That's cold, man."

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Pets Unlimited @ Fillmore

Posted at 11:34 AM

"Don't touch him, please.  He nips."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's okay.  It's not your fault.  He nips at strangers.  He's got some kind of social problem.  Anxiety or something."
"Is he bloodhound?"
"Bloodhound and English Bull Mastiff."
"That would've been a site."

Monday, July 26, 2004

Golden Turtle Restaurant on Van Ness @ Broadway

Posted at 9:37 PM

"Everyone comes form a disfunctional  family."
"You think?"
"Certainly.  You have a disfunctional family."
"Wow, you don't beat around the bush."
"From what I saw, your father doesn't say anything nice about your Mom.  I bet she spent that entire day preparing dinner for us, and the first thing your father said when we sat down was, Judy, these carrots aren't cooked through.  And she apologized profusely like she committed a crime.  The real crime was you father didn't acknowledge that your Mom put effort into preparing a meal for guests.  She probably allows your father to complain all the time without putting his criticism in check." 
"This is our fifth date, and you're already telling me everything that's wrong with my family?"
"Don't worry, you'll get a chance to meet mine."

Church @ Market

Posted at 3:35 PM

"Hey, your website's up again."
"Yeah, I called my father-in-law and told him it was down."
"What'd he do?"
"He called his friend who has the server, and he just told him to turn it back on."
"Why does the guy have a server?"
"He sells porn."
"Yeah, my artwork is hosted by a porn site.  Pretty cool, huh?"

Truly Mediterranean @ 16th

Posted at 12:44 PM

"Man, that falafel's got bite."
"It terrorizes you, huh?  Just like the Mid-East."
"Yeah, this is the Falafel Martyrs Brigade right here."
"Somebody better raise the terrorist threat level to red."
"Yeah, especially 'cuz this falafel's got spicy red sauce."

Sunday, July 25, 2004

AMC Van Ness 1000

Posted at 11:12 PM

"Is this too close, Charley?  How are your eyes?"
"Fine, Mom."
"You're blinking."
"It'll stop when the movie starts."
"We can sit up a few rows, you know."
"No, this is fine.  I like sitting up close."
"It's bad for your eyes.  You're blinking again."
"I'm okay."
"Check your eyes."
"I'm fine."
"Check your glasses."
"I checked them already."
"Check them again."
"Are you getting the popcorn?"
"Oh, I better go do that."
"Thank God..."

The Gap @ Powell St. Turnaround

Posted at 6:49 PM

"I don't know why we have to go the Gap.  Ghirardelli Square and Fisherman's Wharf: now that's the real San Francisco flavor."
"You're right, we have a Gap in Jersey.  We could've gone anywhere in ther world and found a Gap.  It's just like Disneyland."

Fillmore @ Clay

Posted at 6:41 PM

"Did you use any products?"
"Yeah, and it still hasn't gone away."
"What are you going to do now?"
"I don't know.  I can't go to a doctor because I don't have health insurance."

Gas & Shop on South Van Ness

Posted at 1:14 PM

"Where's the gas cap?"
"On the dashboard."
"What the hell are you talking about?
"That's where it is.  That's where you put the gas."
"Are you that goddamn stupid?  The dashboard..."
"I'm telling you, that's where it is.  Come look."
"I'm not going to look.  Gas doesn't go into the dash, you retard."
"How do you know if you won't look?  And stop with the names."
"I'll call you whatever the hell I want: you're my brother.  And I won't look because I'm not as stupid as you."

Saturday, July 24, 2004

IHOP on Lombard

Posted at 2:43 PM

"'Does the breakfast come with four chicken strips?"
"Chicken strips?  No, two sausages.  But the appetizer comes with chicken strips."
"Appetizer for breakfast?"
"If you want.  Dinner is served all day."
"What breakfast comes with four chicken strips?"
"Only the dinners have chicken strips."
"I thought you could get chicken strips for breakfast."
"You can if you order a dinner item."
"But I want to order breakfast."
"You could order a breakfast entree and a side of chicken strips."
"Sure, if you want."
"Will that cost more?"
"As a side dish, yes."
"I don't want it to cost more."
"I'll come back later, when you decide."

At Fort Funston, again...

Posted at 2:32 PM

"Is that a Schipperke?"
"It sure is.  They're born without a tail.  Streamlined in the hind quarters."
"Is he a water dog?"
"No, she hates the water.  Loves rats, though.  They were bred to eat rats off boats."
"Hates water but loves boats...sounds like me."

At Fort Funston

Posted at 2:23 PM

"That little shit, he'll hump anything."
"Yeah, he sure is a shit disturber."
"Look, he's freaking her from behind."
"Off, Chaser!  Off!"
"He gets around, for a pug."

Friday, July 23, 2004

18th @ Sanchez

Posted at 10:15 PM

"Because it's scabbed over."
"Does it still hurt?"
"Well, yeah."
"My mouth could make it better."
"No, it's still raw."

18th @ Sanchez

Posted at 10:06 PM

"I got a whoo-who last night from the balcony of The Metro."
"Oh, you're sooo bad."
"You know it."

On Chestnut

Posted at 9:58 PM

"Did you get your enhancement done?"
"Which one?"
"You got more than one?"
"Well, it was quicker to have my nose done too.  And cheaper."
"Really?  I should've done the same."

Outside RiteAid on 24th

Posted at 1:42 PM

"They say all you got is your family.  Then I got jack."

Thursday, July 22, 2004

18th @ Dolores

Posted at 8:14 PM

"Honk, honk, honk.  All the cars honk.  For what?"
"To be heard."
"I'm sick of hearing."
"Hearing's been played."

At Atla Vista Park

Posted at 9:33 AM

"Don't it just feel good to scratch your butt?  It's one of life's simple pleasures."

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Jackson @ Webster

Posted at 10:38 PM

"There's a couple of songs that I need to download from iTunes."
"Where did you hear them?"
"One of them's Phil Collins."
"Yeah, it's that one song: I can hear it, blah, blah..."
"You're kidding, right?  Didn't you hear that at Starbucks the other night?  You said you hated Phil Collins?"
"Well, I hate Phil Collins but I like that one song."

5th @ Market

Posted at 6:52 PM

"Hey, I didn't buy those condoms just to look at 'em."

At Walgreens on Jersey St.

Posted at 12:20 PM

"You just keep your head up high.  It's not easy coming to a new country at twelve years old and then finding a dead body at home.  It's a tough world.  But you have to keep strong and decide what you want from life.  The great thing about this place is you can do anything."

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

At 24-Hour Fitness on 2nd @ Folsom

Posted at 8:30 PM

"What are you looking at?"
"Stop staring!  What's your problem!?"
"You're not resting between sets.  Give your arms a rest."
"Fuck you!"
"You'll blow your arms out."
"Watch what you're saying, old man."
"No, fuck you old man."
"I'm getting security, right now."
"You better go get them." 

At Dolores Park

Posted at 8:16 PM

"You been drinkin'?"
"What'd ya mean, no?  I could smell you twenty-feet away.  You been going to meetin's?"
"Yeah, kind of."
"What's this yeah, kind of bullshit?"
"I don't know."
"What'd ya mean I don't know? Do you want ta stop drinkin' or what?"
"Then stop drinkin'."
"I mean it, bro.  Don't pick up the first drink.  It's that easy.  Ya understand?"
"Yeah, bullshit.  Don't pick up.  Now, get your ass outa here.  Go to a meetin'."

Trader Joes on Masonic

Posted at 1:32 PM

"Yeah, lady.  Get your nose right into that bread.  Take another sniff."
"Mind your own business."
"Wipe your nose on it."

Monday, July 19, 2004

24th Street BART Station

Posted at 6:46 PM

"Now approaching, Daly City train."
"Now approaching, my nuts!  Now approaching, big nut!"

Fillmore @ Jackson

Posted at 6:43 PM

"Mommy, can I have four flowers."
"No, baby.  Only one.  Those things will make your room smell like cat pee."

Sunday, July 18, 2004

On 24th Street

Posted at 2:43 PM

"When you get killed in a motorcycle accident, you're dead."
"That's brilliant."
"But it's true."

Saturday, July 17, 2004

In Green Apple Books

Posted at 10:10 PM

"Hey, do you have that book about that guy and the horse?"
"Do you know anything about the title?"
"No.  That's why I'm asking you."
"Well, a lot of books are about guys and horses."
"You don't have to be all smart about it, man."
"I'm not.  I just need more info. to help you."
"The horse runs really fast."

Outside of AMC Van Ness Theater

Posted at 10:08 PM

"Hold on.  I want to call my ex-boyfriend again and tell him to fuck off."

Friday, July 16, 2004

On Market Street

Posted at 1:45 PM

"I love massage."
"Oh, me too."
"Manly massages."
"By manly men."
"Say, you're a manly man."
"And so are you."

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Outside the Bank

Posted at 11:51 PM

"So this woman fills out a deposit form, and then pulls a Ready-Whip can out of her purse."
"You know, whip cream.  Then she poured it into her mouth."
"And ate it?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then  what'd she do?"
"She deposited her check and said something about her boyfriend."
"What'd she say?"
"I can't remember--I was totally shocked.  Then she left."

Tuesday, July 13, 2004


Posted at 9:22 PM


About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
Community of Writers
Sean Kirkpatrick
Drew's Script-O-Rama
Museum of Bad Art
The I.F.O.C.E


Zen Habits
The Happiness Project
Dean Karnazes
Mighty Foods
dangerous compassions
From the Rear View Mirror
Tony Pierce
Kevin Drum
Oliver Willis

Books To Read

Caught Inside

The Guards

All The Trouble You Need

Hardcore Zen

Keeping Warm


Continental Drift

Chez Chance

The Los Angeles Diaries

Bear Flag Rising


07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010


Get Firefox!

Stumble Upon Toolbar


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.