The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Friday, December 29, 2006


Posted at 9:24 AM

"Hey, it's me. Yeah, I'm coming home. Yeah, of course I'm drunk. What do you want for breakfast? You want some eggs from the store?"

24th @ Sanchez

Posted at 9:22 AM

"Justin. Into the car. Now."
"Daddy's had enough."

24th @ Diamond

Posted at 9:18 AM

"There's more dogs in that neighborhood than people. That place is wild. It's like the wilderness or something. I tell ya, I saw these two people walking there dogs, and the two things just tore into each other. The owners did nothing. Just stood there while the dogs clamped down on each other. At one point, one of the dogs grabbed the other by the neck, tossed it up into the air, and caught it in its mouth and just started shaking the Jesus right out of it. That's when one of the owners finally had enough. He began kicking the other dog, and let me tell you, the other owner wasn't too happy about that."
"What the owner do?"
"Oh, nothing. I mean, some words were exchanged, but everything went back to normal pretty fast."

Thursday, December 28, 2006

24th Street BART Station

Posted at 9:32 AM

"Let me an' my baby in, you nigga bitch."
"What did you... I can't believe..."
"Gets out our way. We's got shit to do."
"You ignorant woman!"

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Embarcadero Center

Posted at 12:55 PM

"I don't want to hear anymore of this gay Jewish bullshit."

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

One Market

Posted at 4:48 PM

"Ah, unhandled exception. My favorite computer error."

One Market

Posted at 12:09 PM

"He said he spent the week off, staying up 'till three-thirty watching reruns of WQRP in Cincinnati."

Friday, December 22, 2006

One Market

Posted at 12:12 PM

"Where are we going for lunch?"
"I don't know. Oasis Grill?"
"No, fuck that place. Every time I ask them to make my Mediterranean wrap hot, they put like a dab of sauce on it."
"You got to ask for extra-spicy."
"No, man. Fuck that. When someone says spicy, it should just be spicy."
"I think they look at you and try to figure out if you can take spicy or not."
"What does that mean?"
"Just what I said."
"Are you saying I don't look like I can take spicy?"
"I am saying that you are white and look spice-challenged."
"What? What the fuck?"
"I'm Indian. They look at me and know they can never put enough spice on. We Indians got the spice."

One Market

Posted at 10:17 AM

"Dick cats."

Thursday, December 21, 2006

One Market

Posted at 5:08 PM

"Your first response to everything is negative."
"No it's not."

One Market

Posted at 4:38 PM

"This hot chocolate says add water."
"No way. Add milk."
"You know, you can melt some vanilla ice cream in the microwave, and then add the hot chocolate to that."
"That's just out of control. You might was well microwave a Dove Bar in a cup."


Posted at 10:11 AM

"I like you."
"I like you. You like popcorn? I like popcorn."

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

One Market

Posted at 1:42 PM

"What does Lucy want for Christmas this year?"
"She said she wants Baby Alive and a dog that does stuff."

One Market

Posted at 1:35 PM

"Like we Californians should feel guilty that you people deal with snow and crappy weather. Personally, I think you're all a bunch of dumb shits for living elsewhere."


Posted at 9:12 AM

"He's eighty-six and survived Hitler's war. I figure if he still wants to get up and go to work in the morning, then let him be. He's still alive so he's doing something right."


Posted at 9:10 AM

"Hey, sit here."
"No, I'm fine over here."
"What, you're embarrassed to sit with your mother? You don't know any of these people."
"No, I'm already sitting. That's all."

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

One Market

Posted at 12:53 PM

"I think I'm going to change up my style for the ladies."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"To pre-classical Maya."
"In the house."

Monday, December 18, 2006

One Market

Posted at 4:24 PM

"Chinese chocolate is very famous."

One Market

Posted at 12:28 PM

"It's easy to shop for my Dad. He's a carpenter. I just need to by him some tool and he's happy."
"That's funny. My dad is a tool."
"That's mean."

Friday, December 15, 2006

24th @ Valencia

Posted at 9:27 AM

"No way. You're going to hit so much traffic. He can get a flight out of Santa Barbara. United flies there to SFO. He can get a big screen TV anywhere, for God's sake. It's not your fault he forgot about Christmas."

Jackson @ Webster

Posted at 9:23 AM

"Yeah, Terry Fox's Marathon of Hope was pretty cool. Having one leg and fighting cancer and all. But I think it's time for the Marathon of Fuck You. We need someone to run across America telling everyone how fuckin' fat, lazy, stupid, and irresponsible everyone is. It needs attention, man."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

One Market

Posted at 5:51 PM

"Bruce Lee is a quarter Irish."
"Where do you learn that shit?"
"I don't know. I went to an all boys school."

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

One Market

Posted at 1:53 PM

"He's just got an attitude of platitude."

Monday, December 11, 2006

One Market

Posted at 2:57 PM

"Oh, you fixed the toilet? You rock."

One Market

Posted at 2:56 PM

"It doesn't matter. It's a marketing announcement. That doesn't mean it's reality."

One Market

Posted at 11:13 AM

"I just told him Santa might not show up, and, boy, he stopped crying real fast."

Friday, December 08, 2006

Superior Court of California, San Francisco

Posted at 8:03 AM

"Do you believe you can make a decision on motor vehicle laws based on the facts of the case, not based on whether you agree with the motor vehicle law?"
"No way. I don't get why we have to pay tickets. I mean, we have to pay for a stupid driver's license. Everyone should just drive."

Superior Court of California, San Francisco

Posted at 8:00 AM

"Can you objectively listen to what a police officer says?"
"What does that mean?"
"Do you think you can listen to what a police officer says, without judging what he says because he is a police officer?"
"If he's not getting all up in my face and being an asshole, sure."
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear the last part."
"Yeah, sure."

Superior Court of California, San Francisco

Posted at 7:57 AM

"You are not paid for your first day of jury service..."
"--What!? That's bullshit!"
"How's a guy to pay the rent!"

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

One Market

Posted at 3:22 PM

"She had it, huh? Two hours to push it. Well, she's lucky there wasn't a C-section. What did they name it? Oscar. That's terrible."

One Market

Posted at 1:40 PM

"You never had a Funyon?"
"What's the matter with you? When I was in college, we'd eat bags of Funyons and drink pots of Uban coffee."

Diamond @ Elizabeth

Posted at 9:46 AM

"Daddy, did you know that clouds make rain?"
"Did you know that dogs don't sweat?"
"Yes, honey."
"Did you know that..."

One Market

Posted at 9:45 AM

"Hey, we don't use that word around here."

About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
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Zen Habits
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All The Trouble You Need

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