The Dialog Blog
The Dialog Blog
People say it. I write it.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Market @ California

Posted at 4:01 PM

"They better fucking have popcorn at the homeless shelter."

Thursday, September 28, 2006

J Church MUNI

Posted at 10:06 PM

"You know that jazz cut I played you? That thing had too much pecker, huh?"

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

One Market

Posted at 12:36 PM

"The CalTrain conductor got on the intercom and said, 'Hold on everybody. We're going to hit a car.'"
"He saw a car on the tracks, and told everyone to hold on."
"Was he German?"
"No, this was in Palo Alto."

24th @ Church

Posted at 8:48 AM

"Say it. Snoop Dog and Ice Cube are da flavor."
"No. Ouch!"
"Say it! Snoop Dog and Ice Cube are da flavor."
"Okay, okay. Snoop Dog and Ice Cube are the flavor. Leave me alone."
"Say it again!"

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

One Market, elevator

Posted at 4:58 PM

"Their dog got out when they were on vacation, and it was picked up by Animal Control."
"At least they got it back."
"No, they didn't. During the two days the dog was at the shelter, some family adopted it."
"Oh, they'll get the dog back."
"No, the family that adopted it refuses."

Monday, September 25, 2006

One Market

Posted at 4:16 PM

"I don't remember my job title, so I just put down Senior Technical Writer."
"Why did you assume you are senior?"
"Because I'm over forty. I'm old."

18th @ Eureka

Posted at 10:00 AM

"I can't believe you gave him your phone number."
"I know."
"What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't. I was drunk."
"You know he's going to shave your head, don't you?"

Market @ Noe

Posted at 9:57 AM

"I look at all your hypocrisy, your lies, your inconsistencies, and I just say to myself, thank God I ain't one of you white people. Y'all crazy!"

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Martha & Bros. Coffee @ 24th Street

Posted at 8:40 PM

"There he goes again. I tell you, that guy's life is nothing but empty calories."

Martha & Bros. Coffee @ 24th Street

Posted at 8:37 PM

"I told you about my plan for the homeless, right?"
"Yeah, take them out...always the intellectual, you."
"Well everybody's got to work. I work. You work. There's no free lunch in nature. We're the only species that feeds its dead beats."

24th @ Mission

Posted at 1:39 PM

"Hey, don't hit me bitch!"
"You calling me bitch? You're the bitch. Bitch!"

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

One Market

Posted at 9:57 PM

"No, it tasked just like opium bread."

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

19th @ Bryant

Posted at 9:24 PM

"Get out!"
"Hey, calm down."
"You! Out of my trash. Now!"
"Relax, man. You're ridiculous, you know that?"

J Church MUNI

Posted at 9:16 PM

"Where is it at?"
"Twenty Fourth Street."
"How far is that?"
"Not far."
"Is this Twenty Fourth Street?"
"Hey, are we going by Twenty Fourth Street now?"
"No, we're not quite there."
"How about now?"
"What about this street? Is this Twenty Fourth Street?"
"No, alright."
"What's wrong? I'm just asking if we're at Twenty Fourth Street."
"I'll let you know when we're there, okay."
"I don't want to miss it."
"We won't."
"Hey, is this Twenty Fourth Street?"
"What? What's wrong?"
"Am I embarrassing you?"
"Say, is this Twenty Fourth Street?"

One Market

Posted at 5:04 PM

"No, dude. Walmart's too far. She's not worth it."

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Union @ Fillmore

Posted at 9:14 PM

"You want to smoke a blunt?"
"That game sucked BALLS."

Friday, September 15, 2006

One Market

Posted at 10:14 AM

"Her German shepard has issues. Namely, it's a hermaphrodite."
"Yeah, it's got both parts."
"Does it hump itself?"
"Does it hump it's own leg?"

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Posted at 10:22 AM

"No, he's not quite black."

Monday, September 11, 2006

18th @ Castro

Posted at 9:35 PM

"Did you see Boston's outfit today? I almost laughed in his face."
"What was with all the holes in his clothes?"
"Did you notice the hole in his pants."
"You mean the one in his butt? His butthole."
"You're so nasty tonight."
"Honey, I've nasty every night and twice as nasty on Sundays."

Walgreens: Beale @ Mission

Posted at 12:04 PM

"Ninety-nine cents. Need a bag?"
"It's a pack of gum. Why do I need a bag?"

Market @ California

Posted at 9:55 AM

"Shit fucker. Shit. Fuck. Goddamn. Shit. Balloons."

Friday, September 08, 2006

Market @ California

Posted at 4:37 PM

"He said his name was Sugar Watson."

3rd @ Market

Posted at 4:35 PM

"I'm just like you, y'all! You hear me! Don't be looking at me like your shit don't stink. I'm a doctor. Just like y'all. Ain't no different. You hear me!"

Superior Court of California

Posted at 12:05 PM

"Any more questions?"
"Yeah, so the days we aren't on the jury, do we have to go back to work?"
"I think that would be a good idea, yes."

Thursday, September 07, 2006


Posted at 8:03 PM

"And then the old lady bought a four hundred dollar blouse like it was nothing. And then she says, 'Are you two a couple?' And I said, 'No, but we both really like men.'"

The Ferry Building

Posted at 2:55 PM

"Is that chow mein any good? I'm not asking because you're Chinese, I'm just asking."

One Market

Posted at 12:12 PM

"Hey, the Internet is slow today. I wish Al Gore would get off his ass and fix it."

One Market

Posted at 11:13 AM

"What'd you want to do for lunch?"
"I don't know. Taylor's?"
"Yeah, home of the ten dollar burger and the girl with the big tit."

Market @ Octavia

Posted at 7:30 AM

"Listen, when I'm drinking, do you really think I care if I shit my pants in a fancy restaurant? When it's time to cut loose, boy, I'm going to cut it."

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

18th @ Eureka

Posted at 2:29 PM

"Remember when Chad told us how he used to be a prostitute?"
"Yeah, that was so cool."

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Embarcadero

Posted at 2:50 PM

"There's no question our civilization is in decline. Look how fat everyone is. Everyone's eating themselves to death. Preventable diseases are the number one killer in this country. I mean, look at that guy. Clearly he's in decline."

One Market

Posted at 11:02 AM

"I heard someone talk about how bad airport lines would be if terrorists figured out a way to make underwear bombs."

One Market

Posted at 11:00 AM

"You know, we've got some really serious shit going on in this world, and everyone's focused on the death of that Crocodile Hunter dude."
"Yeah, so? He was funny."

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Fort Funston

Posted at 8:26 PM

"Wow, there sure are a lot of dykes out here. I didn't realize they liked dogs so much."
"Dogs are their children."
"I don't get it."
"They're lesbians...they can't have they buy dogs."
"Oh, I get it now."
"Took you long enough."
"Hey, I haven't had my coffee."

Friday, September 01, 2006

One Market

Posted at 11:08 AM

"Hey, is that food for us?"
"No, it's for my friend. She just had a nine and a half pound baby."
"Wow, nine and a half pounds. That's big."
"Yeah, and it came out of her yoo-hoo."

About Me

My name is Gavin. I'm a 32-year-old San Francisco, CA, resident who enjoys hearing the oddest conversations and sharing them with you.


Frank Black
Community of Writers
Sean Kirkpatrick
Drew's Script-O-Rama
Museum of Bad Art
The I.F.O.C.E


Zen Habits
The Happiness Project
Dean Karnazes
Mighty Foods
dangerous compassions
From the Rear View Mirror
Tony Pierce
Kevin Drum
Oliver Willis

Books To Read

Caught Inside

The Guards

All The Trouble You Need

Hardcore Zen

Keeping Warm


Continental Drift

Chez Chance

The Los Angeles Diaries

Bear Flag Rising


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