"You didn't know about Grandma's angel phase?"
"No."
"Man, where have you been? She used to close her eyes and say, 'Now just feel your guardian angel. Everyone has one. You just have to feel it. Now lean in any direction. Notice you don't fall over and hurt yourself. That's because your guardian angel is holding you up. Preventing you from getting hurt.' She even went to some week long retreat where she and a bunch of other idiots went to talk to their angels."
"How did they do that?"
"I'll tell you how they did that. They wrote a big fat check, that's how. Then they all learned that their angel was with them in past lives."
"Past lives?"
"Yeah, they wrote another big fat check to find that one out, too. Of course, Grandma was like Cleopatra. She wasn't the villiage idiot that picked up the horse poop."