"Remember that thing in the news about the chimp tearing that guy apart?"
"What?"
"You didn't hear about that guy at some chimp sanctuary in Bakersfield who got his fingers and nuts bitten off?"
"Jesus, no."
"He and his wife were visiting a chimp they used to know, and another chimp attacked the man."
"Why didn't he just beat the shit out of it?"
"Chimps are stronger than people, you retard."
"Yeah, but you could out run them."
"They have fangs and the strength of five men."
"I bet if you gave me a baseball bat and two of my friends, we could take a chimp down."
"Hey, that could be a TV show. For a million dollars, people go one-on-one with a chimp. If you live, you get the money."
"That'd be awesome. Or how about gorillas?"
"Have you ever seen a gorilla? Nobody could fight off a gorilla. They're like a human tank."
"Then how did the Romans capture them for gladiator events?"
"They probably used nets and tired them out with spears."
"How about a TV show where you put a couple of gorillas in the roughest federal prison. Just let the cameras roll. People could take bets on who would live."
"Could the prisoners use shanks?"
"Anything."
"Yeah, I'd watch that."