"What's he doing?"
"Itching. Look, he wants you to scratch his butt."
"Okay, I'll scratch his butt. Do you want me to scratch your butt? Is that what you want? Does your butt itch? Yeah, does that feel good?"
"I think he's getting off on it."
"What? No he's not. Only you'd think that."
"No, look at his face. That's too much pleasure from a scratch."
"How would you know? You're not a dog."
"Fine, keep being friendly."