"Excuse me, sir, did you see all the spirits shooting up out of that building last night?"
"No."
"Yeah, a bunch of them, hundreds, floating right out of that tower over there."
"Interesting."
"You going to eat the rest of that burrito?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then. Have yourself a good day."

"How are your friends at Google?"
"Fucking rich, man. They're at the only place to be."

"Hey, there's a homeless guy dressed like Santa Claus cussing people out."
"Cool."

"I know it's stupid, but I'm doing the Bar Method to get in shape."
"The Bar Method? Why don't we do the Bat Method. You pay me twenty-bucks, and I'll chase you around with a baseball bat."

"This has sugar!"
"Shh."
"Don't shh me. This got sugar in it. I can't eat sugar!"
"It's okay."
"Okay? You want my ass dead? Don't you look at me like that."

"Biscuit would be a good name for a dog."
"I've seen a yellow lab at the park named Biscuit. He eats his own crap."